On Saying No To Holiday Food Guilt
As far as I’m concerned November 1st is the closing of spooky season, bringing on the onslaught of holiday music, festive decorations, and unfortunate sweaters.
Whatever you celebrate, gatherings with friends and family around the holidays are meant to be joyful experiences. Of course, there’s a long list of reasons why that isn’t always the case, and the ease in which our triggers are activated by those we love the most is chief among them.
While gathering may look different this year, and your parties may be much more intimate than in the past, one thing is likely to remain the same, and that is feeling guilt about indulging in rich foods.
The good thing, is unlike your uncle’s problematic political views- you don’t have to feel guilty about what you eat and intuitive eating will change your relationship to food for the better.
Fact: Food Is Not Sinful, Dirty, or Bad
Wellness culture has brought us a lot of great things, like making self care and boundary setting mainstream, but it’s also brought with it the notion that food has an attached morality value. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Eating food purely for the pleasure it gives you isn’t “being so bad” and it doesn’t mean you have to compensate with a torturous workout to “make up” for it. Yes, eating a diet with a variety of nutrients and minerals will support your physical health, but restricting yourself from eating things you enjoy and bring you satisfaction will give you a complex that is arguably worse for you, in terms of your holistic health. You do not have to justify or “earn” your holiday meals.
Fact: You Didn’t “Ruin” Your Health Because Of One Meal Or One Party
Even if you overdo it and eat past the point of satisfaction, there’s another meal coming up in just a few hours for you to practice eating intuitively again. I once heard a great comparison that I think will resonate with you too. If you are driving and you run a red light, you don’t just say “F it” and start crashing into things and driving recklessly. Your relationship with food can be the same. Even if you make a “mistake” like eating something you know your body doesn’t react well with (looking directly at myself as I heap cheese dishes onto my plate knowing full well that I’m lactose intolerant”, the good news is you have basically infinite chances to keep experimenting and get it right for your body.
Fact: Food Is Not Just A Source Of Fuel
I mean, that’s definitely a big part of what food is- but that’s not all food gives us. The multi-sensory experience of a meal, particularly the foods we associate with holidays, makes us feel safe, loved, joy, pleasure, and even gratitude. Traditional nutrition experts that talk about humans and food like gasoline and cars (don’t know where I’m pulling all these automotive references) are missing a HUGE chunk of why we feel so emotionally connected to sharing meals with our loved ones.
Fact: Your Physiological Cues Are Usually In Direct Conflict With Fad Diets
Food has the ability to make us feel connected to each other, and that experience is tenfold when we eat to our full satisfaction, don’t deprive ourselves of cravings, and listen to our physiological cues surrounding hunger and fullness. Contrary to the latest trendy diet du jour, paying attention to what your body wants, even if it’s spiked eggnog and an extra serving of stuffing, helps reinforce your bodily intuition. By reminding your body that you’re listening and that you’re caring for it through nourishment, your body won’t go into fight or flight or panic starvation mode. When we ignore our hunger (and fullness) signals, you’re basically telling your body you don’t care what it wants and it’s gonna be much harder to not feel dissociated from your physical container.
Fact: You Don’t Have To Put Up With Comments About Your Plate
TLDR; here’s what you need to know. No one has the right to comment on your body or your food choices but yourself, and I hope that if you do, you do so kindly. Inevitably, a conversation about weight, size, appearance, diets etc; will pop up at a holiday function because our culture is so obsessed with it. If someone says something about your appearance or food choices that makes you uncomfortable, gently remind them that you don’t need notes from the peanut gallery and that your body will tell you when you’re making a less than ideal decision, not them. Usually, though, the conversation often doesn’t start there and your loved one may stay saying negative things about themself and/or their own habits. Then is the time to politely mention that even if a comment isn’t directed at you, it can still be a triggering moment, particularly is you’re in recovery for disordered eating. I always recommend getting real and vulnerable as the number one way to shut them up. Let them know you find it damaging to focus so much on unrealistic beauty standards or fad diets that are centered on appearance, not health. If you’re not comfortable getting raw with this person, something along the lines of “Wow, I couldn’t be LESS interested in talking about what’s on my plate when I haven’t seen you in months- what’s actually going on in your life?!”
Whatever your holiday celebration entails, I hope you are able to focus on the joy involved in food, and do your best to let stress around health roll off your back.
My app, Helen Phelan Studio aims to make fitness an act of self care, not punishment. You can check out my classes totally free for 10 days by clicking here!