How Self Care Is (And Isn’t) Wellness
If there’s one lesson that really stuck from my years of dance training- it’s that how you present yourself matters not just in terms of how others see you, but how you see yourself.
I never stuck my landings or nailed my triples on the days I had a messy bun or sloppy dancewear haphazardly thrown on- but the days I wore my good leotard, a bold lip, and had time to pin my hair neatly? I couldn’t be stopped. A real tour de force, if you will (and if you got that ballet pun, did we just become best friends???).
Self Care and Self Esteem
Was I different dancer on the days I was *~ feeling ~* myself? No. Of course not…but, there is something unexplainable about “walking the walk” and “dressing the part” in how much more badass you feel.
Actually, some scientists HAVE tried to explain this— Scientific American among them has tried to nail down how clothing can impact your mental and physical performance. It’s not just because others see you as more “put together” but because you see yourself as more impactful, more authoritative, and more powerful. There’s also theories dissecting how the color of your clothes specifically, can affect your mood. It’s absolutely been my own personal experience and journey through body hate > acceptance > appreciation that there’s definitely something to be said for “faking it til you make it” when it comes to body confidence.
Self Care Practices Are Not Selfish- But They Are Often Capitalist
Now- this can get pretty capitalist REAL quick. If we take this to mean that we need to constantly be buying more stuff, or performing for the male gaze or adhering to someone else’s beauty standard, I wouldn’t exactly say you’re on track for a positive or nurturing relationship with your body at all- that’s all externally motivation nonsense.
There’s a fine, fine, FINE line between getting caught up to the point where you feel like a failure or less than enough because you don’t live up to some beauty construct or another and using fashion and beauty as a tool to celebrate your body (I know— the phrase “celebrate” felt just as cheesy coming out of my mouth as it did your eyes to read— but, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).
How Self Care Can Improve Self Confidence
If you’re struggling with body acceptance or negative body image, though, you can use all the help you can get to practice feeling positive towards your body. If you reclaim what your standards are and have a clear intention unsullied by diet culture, you can use getting dressed up, doing your hair, going to the sauna, or whatever your “self care” deal is, as a strategy to boost feelings of body satisfaction.
We take habits like brushing our teeth, flossing, showering regularly, trimming your toenails, putting on clothes that aren’t sweatpants (ok, this year doesn’t count) and what have you for granted as the bare minimum and a baseline societal expectation of how we’re supposed to show up in public. What I think, is that there’s also a little part of you recognizing those actions as you taking the time to care for yourself. On repeat, those tiny actions stack up to you understanding on some conscious or unconscious level that you’re worth taking care of...and I don’t need to spell out for you that these actions are among the first thing to go when you’re feeling depressed.
It’s in this regard that self-care actually is really integral to wellness. It’s gotten mucked up to the point that Instagram shows us only the bubble baths and none of the painful self reflection and examination so I’ll say it again:
No.
You don’t need to spend money to take care of yourself. It’s easy to get sucked into it, (NGL sometimes a little retail therapy SLAPS, but it’s not a substitute for real therapy, thank you very much) and think that healing or health are a purchase away- that this elixir and this face mask are going to finally make you whole. If you don’t feel whole or worthy or enough on your own— no amount of Moon Juice will make that happen, as chicly packaged as it may be.
This mindset is problematic for a lot of reasons- one being that money can’t buy health or happiness, and us thinking it can makes us feel like there’s something wrong with US when it inevitably doesn’t satisfy us and we need more and more. Two being that systems of inequality dictate that only a specific population is deserving of health and happiness, because only a specific population can afford it.
The same thing happens with your movement practice- when you change your approach from “I need to workout to look a certain way, to feel happy about my appearance” to “I need to workout because my body is achey and I deserve to feel better” or even “I need 5 minutes to myself and some support from endorphins to lift my shitty mood”, it hits different. You might be doing the same exact moves on the same exact mat in the same exact outfit and the same exact time of day, but the results couldn’t be more opposite. One approach begets more body dissatisfaction through fixation on perceived flaws, and one acknowledges that movement is a way for you to take care of yourself, and feels supported by that action.
Conclusion
In reality, you don’t NEED $100 leggings or fancy supplements or a crystal facial roller to boost your feelings of body appreciation— in fact, I think relying on those things is the same type of thinking as “Working out will make me love my body because it’s gonna change how I look- and once I look different, I’ll feel worthy.” It aint it. Rather, the act itself, of deciding to take a nurturing action directed at one’s self is what makes the impact and helps make you...well!
If you’re looking for body neutral workouts that focus on how movement makes you feel- without the distraction of diet culture and predatory marketing- I created Helen Phelan Studio to be a space for you to practice movement as self care. There’s over 200 classes in the on demand library, and it’s growing every week. Check it out with the free 10 day trial!
Other articles you might be interested in:
10 Ways To Fit Exercise Into A Busy Schedule
How Your Fitness Tracker Can Sometimes Be Bad For Your Health
How Self Care Is (And Isn’t) Wellness
20 Reasons To Workout That Have Nothing To Do With Weight Loss
Exercising To Lose Weight Is The Quickest Way To Burn Out On Fitness